Unexpected

Unexpected is this feeling;

Feeling of emptiness and loneliness.

Emptiness for the things of life,

Loneliness of the people and things that are supposed to entertain.

Unexpected this detour

That has crossed my path.

I was not aware of a detour being foreshadowed in my life.

The detour that would make me question so much,

And leave so little.

I know what is missing but it's so hard to find,

To me at least.

People say that it is the most easiest thing to find in the world when you look for it.

But when I look…

I find nothing.

Maybe I'm not truly looking,

Maybe my heart just isn't in it.

This unexpected feeling

Leaving me so bare,

So unworthy of life.

I can't imagine why people feel like this or want to feel like this;

To feel nothing.

To feel that work is such a waste of time,

To go home to an empty house and not even feel the slightest bit hungry,

To meet new people and feel no connection,

To go to church and have no thirst.

I know what I am missing

But I am shaken.

To know that there is something important in the world,

But feel that it's not important enough.

Sounds so selfish.

Maybe that's what I am…

Selfish.

Undeserving.

Worthless.

Oh this unexpected journey,

This detour.

It comes at a most unexpected time,

My life.

When I thought I could not be shaken,

I was invincible.

Just kidding.

I can be broken and torn.

I can be left behind while everyone else moves forward.

Oh what a detour!

A detour as simple and yet complicated as this.

I let my guard down

And here I sit in a mess.

A mess of thoughtlessness and woe.

Self-pity that is what I feel.

How ridiculous of me to feel self-pity

While others are worse off than I.

And yet it's here.

This unexpected twist in life.

This questioning detour.